A Sick Day

Ok, now I can't tease Keith anymore about worrying if he was angry at me; when I logged on yesterday morning and saw no e-mail from him, I started to worry. Then, when I sent him a text and got nothing back, I worried more.

This was right about the time that I was in the Mall. Yes, I entered the hallowed halls of American consumerism and was overwhelmed. I stuck to my literary and went straight to Hallmark, hoping to find stuff for Keith's Valentine care package.

That was a little rough. I thought I was prepared and it wasn't like I was completely run over by the holiday advertisements. I'm not sure what it was. I felt slightly bedraggled and a little lost, is the best way to explain it. I kept getting teary eyed for no good reason and I would have to blink frantically.

Maybe it was because the store itself seemed bedraggled, most of it was Christmas stuff on half price, most of the shelves were empty. It wasn't the soothing experience that I wanted it to be, I wanted to be enveloped in the warm, nougat-y heart of needless nick knacks and well wishes, not to be depressed by what I assume are signs of a terrible economy.

Finally I found something that I liked and escaped. Safe in my car, I sent my husband another text and headed off to...Walmart. The salesclerk at Hallmark gave me a tip about finding confetti there. I found pink confetti, heart shaped post it notes, a John Deere calender, ATV and Diesel truck magazines and facial scrub.

But still no call or text from Keith, which is not like him. Finally, he called as I was driving home.

"So," he said, his voice warm with tender humor, "...you missed me a little, huh?"

I laughed. "You picked up on that, did you?"

"Yeah, kinda....you little kitten. How's your day been?"

(It turned out the internet connection at his FOB had temporarily gone down, by the time he could check his e-mail, he had four e-mails from me, something which thrilled him to no end.)

I was happy to tell him all about it, but he eventually pried out of me what I'd bought for him; the man does ruin all his surprises.

The dogs have rediscovered an old past time; digging for treasures in Bean's litter box. I know Abby; she wants to be good, she longs to be good, but life throws so many tempting obstacles her way, like the intriguing smell of the large, covered grey box.

"Just a little sniff," she tells herself. "Just to check to make sure everything is A-OK with that creature I'm not suppose to eat. I mean, you never know; it could be plotting dasterdly deeds and since I can't ever manage to get near it's butt, this is the next best thing...Mom will never know...and anyway, I'm doing it for her."

But what Abby forgets is that she is covered in glossy black fur and the grey cat litter shows up all along her muzzle like a neon "guilty" sign. So when she comes trotting out, looking all innocent and onto the next thing ("What are those neighbors doing? Unloading groceries! That is not acceptable...!") she is shocked and dismayed, downright hurt, to receive a scolding instead of the praise she was expecting.

I have since wedged the little box into a position where Bean has access, but the dogs do not. Oh well, it's just a matter of time before they find something else to get into.

It's that time of the month and it hit me like a sixteen wheeler. I actually left work two hours after I got there, due to the horrible nausea. The cramps must have been agravating my back injury, because I felt the pain all down my legs and into my ankles.

It was so liberating to think, "I'm done. I'm going to go home and take care of myself. I don't have to force myself to go on like this." Which is what I normally do, and what got my back into such bad shape. I have to drill into my head sometimes that it's OK to let go. I've discovered in the past year or so that so much of my self value lies in what I can shoulder through like the stoic Yankee that I am; I always want myself to pull myself up, heartly, by the bootstrings.

However, today I took a sick day. On the way home, I bought Motrin and rented movies and then changed into my PJs as soon as I got home. I have been watching them all day. I did notice though, that today at five thirty the sky was a deep and velvety blue, instead of the pitch black that I remember from earlier. Well, I have one more movie to watch and some chips and salsa with my name on it...