Friday, June 5, 2009

Moths Still

The moths in the house are slowly dying. When they die, they remain where they fell. The dying moths are joined by new, energetic moths. Therefore, my house is full of dead, dying, fleeing and disintegrating moths. There is a particularly large one on the bathroom sink which has been preventing me from using the toothbrush holder for the past...four, five days?

What kind of a godforsaken housekeeper am I, you may well ask. I am a housekeeper afflicted with a phobia is what. Today I dragged the vacuum cleaner upstairs to try and take care of some moth business. I went to get the mail first and was affronted with the sight of a large, dead moth hanging inside the door.

This was my opportunity to use the vacuum cleaner, so I dragged it over, attached the hose and tried to steel my nerves to suck the dead (I hoped it was dead) moth into the hose. The large body thunked against the hose on its way down, causing much freaked out behavior from me. A puppet on strings in an earthquake; that might be what I looked like. Except that I was shrieking.

I managed to vacuum up a few more dead bodies in the kitchen before I exhausted myself with the horror. I really think it must be a phobia. There is no other way to describe the intensity or my inability to change my reactions.

Still jittery, I went to the sink to wash up the dishes from the night before only to find a large dead moth floating in a pan.

"Dear God," I sighed. "Really? Are you done? Wouldn't you like to go play with someone else now?"

When I drive, I keep the windows up because the moths cling to the car for a mile or two. I never know when some stray current of air will force them, wings flaying, up against the glass window. As a good friend of mine knows, myself and a moth in a moving vehicle is not a good combination for any of the parties involved.

So now I have chopped moth down the insinkerator, various moths in the vacuum bag and the large dead one still on the bathroom counter.

Further reports as events warrant.

1 comment:

lala said...

hmmm...

i'm trying to relate, but i kind of don't have a problem with moths.

okay, if i pretend it's beetles... those ugly ones that fly around at night and are poopy brown (not the irridescent ones [i probably misspelled irridescent but i don't have spell check on my browser at work]) then i can conjur up those same feelings of UGH and *shudder*, etc etc.

but really if i imagine that there are splotches of vomit all around your house, my brain totally freezes up and i think if i were you i'd move to another state and leave all of my belongings behind and just start fresh...

oh gosh if that's how you feel about moths then i'm not sure how you get up in the morning.