Attack of the Killer Moths

Last night I was prevented from taking a shower by the presence of not one, but two dark, furry bodied moths. I stood in horror, clutching my can of spider spray and watching them dip and clatter erratically around. They had been sprayed and yet were clearly not dying. I gave up and went to bed.

In the morning, one appeared to be dead in the tub. (It was not, long story, won't go into it. But it's dead now, damn it!) There was a dead one on the living room floor, a dead one inside the sliding door groove and a live one downstairs by the window. I screamed like a girl on and off all morning.

When I screamed and hopped about in shuddering horror for like the zillionth time on the back porch, the good neighbor Larry asked me very cautiously if I was doing ok. He appeared to be very grateful for the fence. I explained my dilemma.

"What is going on? Is it the season for them? What am I going to do?" I wailed.

He explained that this happens once every few years. Great. I am living in the middle of a genuine moth epidemic. He handed me over the fence a large container of indoor/outdoor pest killer that they have been spraying everywhere in their house.

"Spray it on the lamps," recommended Mrs. Good. "That's where they like to be. We've been using fly swatters too."

"Do you want one?" asked Larry the Good.

I figured the insecticide would be enough, especially considering that I can't get close enough to the moths to kill them with a swatter anyway. (Involuntary shudder of horror.) I sprayed the stuff everywhere and goddamn if the moths didn't come out of every crack and crevice in the goddamn house.

The front door was the worst. I sprayed that and an entire cloud, a cloud of moths rose up darkly against the light, igniting such fear in my heart that I ducked and covered, screaming, bobbing and weaving as though I were being shot at.

Now I do feel a little better. The spray should keep them out for the next three months (and Keith will be here long before then!!) and I haven't come across a moth for a little while now.

They are lurking outside though; when I moved the car scores of them rose up in agitation. They are hiding out in the bushes, crawling across the screens and batting about against the street lights.

I just hope and pray I don't dream about them tonight.