Tuesday, November 25, 2008

And now for some pointless humor...

My mom just forwarded this to me, I couldn't help but share it. In other news, I just got back from Christmas shopping. Dear God. I had to leave WalMart due to a sudden attach of anxiety at the price of everything. Help. Now must unpack and put up bags and bags of stuff. Will take pictures to share if it doesn't kill me first.

And now the humor...

Why did the Chicken cross the Road?



SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the
chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for
lunch.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was
time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road
because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and
dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the
road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally
helped that little chicken to cross the road. This
experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right
from Day One, that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it deserves to cross the road! But then, this really
isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on
our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either
against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can
clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the
road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the
road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross,
and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am
not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some
black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken
won't realize that he must first deal with the problem
on this side of the road before it goes after the problem
on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help
him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on
his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having
problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad.
So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes
and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across
the road and not live his life like the rest of the
chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is
a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access
to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because
he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he
walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking
American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way
that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the
Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped
to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the
first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced
a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the
road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world
crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer
is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is
much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road,
or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

4 comments:

Via said...

Haha! That's so amazing!

I'm seriously laughing my buns off right now!

Thanks for stopping by, and the laugh ;]

-V

.Becca. said...

Haha! That's hilarious! Thanks for the laugh, girl!

T said...

Ha! Very funny!

Hope you are well.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

Mrs. Staff Sergeant said...

That made me laugh out loud! Love it!