tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-431534930292830230.post5039837672444790848..comments2023-10-07T07:35:35.608-07:00Comments on The Yellow Ribbon Diary: Counting the CostJennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11679341093302880387noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-431534930292830230.post-58931265797071795412008-10-28T19:18:00.000-07:002008-10-28T19:18:00.000-07:00Oh my.... you have me bawling over here. I've done...Oh my.... you have me bawling over here. I've done this.... ALL of this with Soldier. He has hurt so badly and so many times I would have to explain that I AM NOT HER or any of the others... he would feel comforted and closer and then pull away again. All of it culminated in our weekend... when I tried to be all that I could to him and he... felt so badly for not being who HE WANTED TO BE for me. I kept telling him that it was OK but he only felt worse that I loved and accepted him unconditionally. Thank God that Keith accepts your love... that his heart opened enough to let you in and kept opening wider and wider. Soldier closed his out of fear. Even when he left I knew... he loves me. It kills him because he loves me and he doesn't think the man he is, the man he feels he HAS to be because of the Army, is good enough for me. I suppose the Army is his wife for now. One that abuses him and makes him into an angry man but one he must stay true to. I can't compete with it. I have to let him go.<BR/><BR/>I'm sorry. I really don't mean to make your blog about me. It just sounds so much like our time together. When we fell so hard and so fast and we would just stare at each other and sigh...<BR/><BR/>I will keep you both in my prayers. It is worth it. Every bit of it and if I went back in time, I would do the same thing all over again. <BR/><BR/>Thank you for pulling this out of me. I needed to feel it somewhere.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10112766306021310705noreply@blogger.com